There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
