do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drunk is not a location!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
