I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
