I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
