I feel great
I just peed on a car
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
