Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
