Yo dont text me then not text me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
now i know why i became what i already was.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
