But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
