it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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