dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
