I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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