Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
