What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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