i just wanna soil my oats bro
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
