naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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