We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
