I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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