so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
They took my balls.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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