she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
God, I missed his penis.
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