Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's official drugs can't kill me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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