fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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