return my video game
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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