Your face is a jimmy john
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
