Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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