im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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