I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ladies don't puke and tell
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
