So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
