So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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