Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize