I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
did i walk over a car last night?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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