You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
