Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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