Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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