I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
