So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
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I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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