I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
