I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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