Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
