hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
