i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
