On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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