So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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