...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
