belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
