i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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