the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
