I am in a vortex of obligation.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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