If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my being single is dangerous.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
