giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
