pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
