She said her name was "party"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
