Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize