Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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