I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
