If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize