We won't sleep together?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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