Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
