My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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