The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
