I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
