Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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