I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Randomize
